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Elf Personnel Files

Exposed in the FROSTBYTE paperwork leak: the personnel file of every elf on the main floor. Heights, shoe sizes, cocoa orders, secret talents and official stats.

Office of Compliance: these files are CONFIDENTIAL. Home addresses have been redacted. (They all live at the North Pole. That is the address.) We also blacked out one detail in every file, before lunch, as a precaution. (redacted)

File ELF-DIR-2026. One file was found in this folder by mistake: "C., Mrs. — Operations". It has been returned to Operations unopened, with an apology, in triplicate.