PERSONNEL FILE ELF-0027
Department: Office of Compliance
Clearance level: Triplicate
Years of service: 311
| Home address | The North Pole. Ledger Row, Bunk 1 (labelled; the label is also labelled). |
|---|---|
| Height | 3 ft 1 in, measured in triplicate |
| Shoe size | Pointy 6, polished every Tuesday whether needed or not |
| Usual cocoa order | Medium cocoa, no marshmallows, stirred clockwise exactly 27 times |
| Secret talent | Can find a missing form by listening to the filing cabinets |
| Hobby | Alphabetizing things that were already alphabetized |
| Known weakness | Unauthorized fun, in the general sense |
| Special move | The Triplicate: says everything three times, for the records |
| Middle name | (redacted) |
Official stats
- Speed
- 58 out of 100
- Sparkle
- 31 out of 100
- Cocoa tolerance
- 27 out of 100
- Patience
- 99 out of 100
- Cheer
- 47 out of 100
Notes from Human Resources (Elf Division)
Has filed 4,118 forms this season. Compliance (himself) approved all of them.
"Per Form 27-B, I must say this is all highly irregular. And rather lovely."